"The body is the primary mode of perceiving scale." On Longing, Susan Stewart
This photo was taken at the beginning of this month while I was laying on Vero Beach at 4am on a camping trip with a few of my friends. I had never been camping before, and I was too scared to sleep in the woods, so I opted to sleep on the beach with my hammock laid across the sand. I found myself unable to sleep, as I was too enthralled with the vast array of stars. At this moment I felt smaller than I ever had in my life: by myself, on a secluded beach with nothing above me except an endless sky.
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"The souvenir speaks to a context of origin through a language of longing, for it is not an object arising out of need or value." On Longing, Susan Stewart
As I read this sentence, I was reminded of a picture I found in an elementary school yearbook from the 80s. Mrs. Melody Dowden, the beautiful teacher in the picture, is my grandma. Of course, she doesn't teach anymore and never has in the time that I've been alive, but I still found myself longing to meet the teacher version of my sweet Meme. She let me take the yearbook back to Texas with me where I now keep it on my bookshelf opened on this page.
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"The souvenir reduces the public, the monumental, and the 3D into the miniature, that which can be enveloped by the body." On Longing, Susan Stewart
This picture was taken of me sometime last year at one of my last a cappella competitions. As cliche as it sounds, this quote reminded me of singing. When I'm on stage, specifically at the very end of a song, (as depicted in this picture I'm lowering my mic), nothing around me registers. Applause turns into some sort of underwater echo and all I can see is the whites of the stage lights. I feel more connected with myself both spiritually and mentally than I ever have in my life when I'm singing. "enveloped by the body" plays at the giddiness that runs through me once my adrenaline dies down and the clapping ceases.
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"To have a souvenir of the exotic is to possess both a specimen and a trophy." On Longing, Susan Stewart
In the same camping trip that I talked about in the first photo, I found these miscellaneous beach objects. Growing up in Dallas, Texas I was constantly 6/7 hours (give or take) from the beach and I had only gone to the beach three times before I moved to Florida for school. Never in my life had I imagined that you could find such vibrantly colored shells, let alone shark teeth. These beach finds stay displayed on my desk as a homage to endless possibilities and new experiences.
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"the place of origin must remain unavailable in order for desire to be generated." On Longing, Susan Stewart
The original photo was taken back in 2015 at my great-grandmothers' house at the kitchen table. Every year, my twin sister, two cousins, and I recreate this specific photo on March 15 during our spring break. Unfortunately, my great-grandmother passed away in December and her husband sold the house. We were unable to recreate the photo at the same table so we improvised. We didn't realize how sentimental the pictures have since become due to the unavailability of my great-grandmothers' white kitchen table and the passing of her kind soul.
